There are a lot of things I hate in my life.

I resent that I do the same thing every day, to the point where times and dates become meaningless. I hate that I no longer have any friends in real life with whom I could hang out. I detest my endless procrastination and utter lack of motivation, and despise whatever causes me to go from waking up happy one morning, to snapping at everyone the next afternoon, to moping and wailing the following night, and back to being happy the next morning.

Even more, though, I hate realizing the few people I've cared about will never change, no matter how much happier it might make them.

One will never stop being a pretentious ass. Another will never stop being as fickle as a toddler in a toy store. A third will likely never stop being patronizing or self-important by virtue of some virtual influence he earned. Two will never learn to be sure of themselves and stop letting people tread on them. I don't know how many others will never realize that not everyone enjoys insult-wars over IM.

So, yeah. I loathe admitting when a friendship is beyond repair, too. What I hate most, though, is knowing that my only real motivation for trying to change them--or to do anything good, really--is my own selfishness.

Somebody pass the dice. This character sucks; I want a re-roll.